playin' in the mud

While all of my Ohio friends are posting pics on fb of their kiddos playing in the snow, building snowmen, drinking hot chocolate in their cute snowsuits, etc, my kiddos are playing in the mud.

And eating mud.

And the older one feeds the younger one mud. For us, it's all about the mud. :o)

And lest you think otherwise, J and B have this amazing ability to sniff out the muddy-est of the all the mud puddles and plop down right there, refusing to leave.

So... if you can't fight 'em, join 'em. And that's what I did. Hence,,,

we had a great day today with all the oozing mud-ness. :o)

 (sin nature combined with nap time- tanrtrums and melt downs)

he loves tubbies now!! :o)

house recap

Here's a quick recap of our house saga:

So... we were supposed to close this week on our house. We talked with our Realtor last weekend and everything was a-ok for closing! yay!! ** cue excitement!! Then, Tuesday morning, we get an email from Realtor. The first sentence said, "so... this is not the best of news." **cue heart sinking. Turns out that our buyer has all the money for the down payment, has it all in the same account for 60 days, but now the banker is saying that he needs to have 2 months worth of bank statements that show the full amount for the full month... Since the large amount for the down payment was deposited in the middle of a month, we needed to wait an additional 3 weeks in order to get 2 months worth of bank statements. Our Realtor closed with a plea for us not to fire him and the suggestion that we put our house back on the market so we could possibly get some more offers.

we were disappointed, and trusting the Lord.

An hour later, our Realtor sent another email stating that our buyer was willing to give an additional $2,500 if we would give the 3 week extension. Our buyer already gave us $3,000 for the original 60 day extension, so this puts us at $5,500 more than what we asked for. We prayed about it and agreed to the new contract. So, we were planning on closing March 18th.

Then this morning, Andrew gets a call from our Realtor. he said, "I have good news!" Apparently, the banker was able to get a "date range" statement from the bank that had just the 60 days on it... I don't know if this is clear or not... But anyway, the banker told the realtor to pass go and collect $200. Oh wait... no, wrong game. wink emoticon The banker told the realtor that the banker could get the date range statement by this monday and we can close by Wed. But considering Realtor would have to Overnight Fed Ex the papers on Mon or Tue, we would have to sign them, then we would have to Overnight them back, we thought Wed was a bit of an aggressive date, so we said "how bout we say 'close by fri' so that leaves a little wiggle room for all the mailing of papers and such'." So buyer agreed, realtor agreed, banker agreed, we agreed, everyone has signed the new contract, and we're waiting to receive confirmation that the banker really does get the "date range" statement on Monday.

We are excited, and trusting the Lord.

So let's recap:
we put our house on market
got full-price offer within 28 hours
offer fell through right before closing
put our house on the market again
get great offer pretty quickly
offer gets post poned the day of closing
agreed to 60 day extension
60 day extension comes and goes, we're ready to close
offer gets post-poned the day before Realtor is supposed to mail the closing papers
agree to 3 week extension
suddenly hear that it might only need to be a 1 week extension
sign new terms of contract and hoping to close next week

What have we learned?
- God is in complete control. He does AS He pleases, ONLY as He pleases, WHEN He pleases.
- I can't control anything
- God gives us everything we need for our good and His glory. If we don't get something such as a house closing, it's because God, in His kindness, knows that we don't need it.
- Trials produce steadfastness
- houses are darn hard to sell

THE END

Andrew desperately wants me to include this house pic. Since I would do literally anything for this man, here is a pic of our house, taken by our besties for us!

Sam's Club

The boys (the big one as well as the 2 little ones) love Sam's Club.

Not with an ordinary love, but with a "I can't believe I get 124 ounces of POP for LUNCH!!!!" type of love. We go often, we pay little, we laugh lots, we shop for free samples, then we leave empty-handed but with bellies full of sugar. Frankly, what's not to love?!

the worst Valentine's Day ever

I want to preface this whole thing by saying that Andrew did nothing wrong. Nothing. He did everything right. This is a story of my sin, my forgiving Savior and husband, and lavish love that I don't deserve.

That being said...

Valentine's Day was awful. Truly awful. We fished... as a family (does that make it better or worse?). And that was pretty much it. 

You see, we had agreed ahead of time to NOT celebrate Valentine's Day. We had lots of good reasons why we shouldn't celebrate it. 

1. we're poor

2. I was on crutches, having dislocated my knee

3. we're poor

4. our free babysitters were out-of-state

5. we're poor

6. Andrew was very busy at school that week and was also very busy at home that week, taking care of the boys since I wasn't able to and also taking care of me since I wasn't able to.

7. we didn't have any coupons to any restaurants or any gifts cards, so we couldn't really afford to.

So, we thought it a wise and prudent thing to skip Valentine's Day this year, and I was completely on board with the whole thing. In fact, it was my idea. 

And then,,,,, Valentine's Day arrived. And as the day wore on, I quickly found out that Andrew really, truly, honestly DID skip it. **Cue ominous music**

Of course he was supposed to. And I wanted him to. And we financially needed him to. But then pride, and selfishness, and ugliness all started crowding my heart and my mind and Valentine's Day quickly became miserable. It was made much worse by all those lovey-dovey pictures and statuses on facebook. Oh, facebook, how I love thee and loathe thee.

And, for anyone who knows me at all, you know that I LOVE events. I LOVE LOVE LOVE events and parties and celebrations and holidays and all things fun and glamorous. I yearn for them deep in my soul. So in retrospect, Valentine's Day, the day of looove, was not a wise one for us to skip. 

But let me get on with the story of my sin, forgiveness, and love.

Anyway, on Valentine's Day, we fished and did nothing else.

For a girl who hates to fish, it was a... creative way to spend valentine's day. This fishing expedition also included a "quick" stop at KMART beforehand bc andrew wanted to buy 3,964 ounces of canned peaches for $3.00. This quick stop ended up taking well over an hour, with no peaches to be found, with empty stomachs well after lunch time, a 3 year old boy who was quite eager to fish, and a baby who was missing his morning nap. We were entering the disaster zone.

Then, we arrived at our fishing grounds only to find out we had to pay to park in the parking lot. Andrew refused to pay the $5 b/c we couldn't ("couldn't" is a relative term) afford to. We fished, caught nothing, were really cold, and had an ok time. Toward the end of our fishing expedition, when we were half a mile away from our car, we noticed a police officer. Giving our car a ticket. Because we refused to pay. We're so, so far away from our car. I mean, truly far away, on the end of a dock in the middle of a huge, deep lake. We start panicking. I grab my crutches whilst holding brody and our huge, expensive camera, and start "sprinting" toward the police officer on my crutches. I apologized profusely, cried even though I tried not to, and begged for mercy. He did show great mercy toward me, the crying crippled lady with the baby, and decided not to give me a ticket. This whole ordeal took a long time and I fully expected my husband to be swooping in to rescue me anytime. The police officer left, my knee was throbbing in pain, I'm out of breath, still crying, about to drop brody, and I look back to see Andrew and Jasper still casually fishing off the end of the pier, seemingly oblivious to the whole ordeal. At this point, i'm struggling deeply with sinful, selfish attitudes.

We get home, I'm in so much pain, in a sinful mood, the boys are a wreck, I'm super hungry and Andrew turns to me and says, "did you brush your hair today?" I said, "yes" and he said "Oh! I can tell."

And that was the one and only compliment I received the entire Valentine's Day. At this point, my sinfulness is starting to consume my heart.

We get the boys down for naps and Andrew walks over to me on the couch and says, "I'm thinking of going upstairs and lighting some candles for my mom for Valentine's Day. I think it would be really special for her. I also think I'll make her a card and try to decorate her kitchen. Is it ok if I leave you and go upstairs for a while to do all that?" (seriously, how sweet is that?! Andrew is such a great man!)

I encouraged him to go upstairs and do that for his mom. And he turned and started to leave to do that very thing.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is when all that ugliness and sin in my heart came pouring out. I'm sure you can imagine the scene. Huge sobs that wrack my entire body. Awful self-pity. Awful sentences that said things like, "You're going to light candles and decorate for your mom but you don't light a single candle or decorate for me?!?" Awful selfishness. Awful sin. 

I am such a great sinner. And this was so evident on Valentine's Day afternoon during this fight with Andrew (poor andrew). I'm such a great sinner, but praise God, I have such a great Savior.

Anyway, Valentine's Day continued on, we never really resolved our issues, it ended, and it was truly the worse Valentine's Day ever. Not because Andrew took me at my word and skipped it. Not because I didn't get chocolates, flowers, a card, or a date. But because I was so consumed with my self. I was so sinful. My heart was ugly and I felt emotionally ugly all over. It was awful awful awful.

But... (don't you love "but's"???), the Lord convicted my heart. And continued to do so relentlessly until Sunday afternoon when I was so overwhelmed with sorrow for my sin. I couldn't take it anymore and begged the Lord to forgive me, and He so sweetly did!!! 

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins." 1 John 1:9 How awesome is that?!? It's such a sweet promise.

Then I asked my sweet husband to forgive me, and he did, too, without a moment's hesitation! It's a forgiveness that I don't deserve and so often take for granted. Andrew is such a great, great man. 

We talked, had a heart-to-heart and decided that we should never truly skip Vday again. This last thur evening, when we were getting ready for bed, Andrew turned to me and said, "Would you please do me the honor of  going out on a fancy date with me tomorrow night for Valentine's Day?" 

This man. Oh, my. He's so great. 

Despite my sin and ugliness, despite my selfishness and pride, he not only forgave me but lavishly poured love out on me. Not only did we go on a date, but we also got super dressed up for this date and he bought me a crosiage and chocolates and wine and said sweet nothings to me the whole time. It was such a sweet blessing that I didn't deserve. 

It was the best Valentine's Date ever.

and the heavens opened up...

and the angels sang! :o)

For the first time in his whole life, Brody didn't scream during his tubby. This may seem like a little thing, but oh, it's SO not. He actually somewhat enjoyed his tubby! Praise the Lord! The whole world is at our fingertips, now! ;o)

parenting advice

Jasper has entered this new, interesting, and somewhat difficult stage of life. The one where he wants to act like either a hyena or a dragon... all the time.

This is interesting for us. Up till now, much or our parenting has been "we love you! And this is 'no touch'." or things similar to that. Now, all of a sudden, parenting Jasper has become a lot more about attitudes and "imaginary play" rather than the simplicity of "no touch".

In a quest for knowledge, we've started seeking wisdom. We've read the Bible, parenting books, and have asked a lot of questions from our parents and other wise people in the church. For my sake (i don't want to forget these things) and for your sake (if anyone of you are about to enter this stage), I thought I would record the things we've recently learned:

From the bible:
- the love of Christ controls us. Everything flows from love, because Christ first loved us.
- follow the example of Christ in serving one another (this includes parents serving children)
- if we love our child, we will teach, train, nurture, and discipline them day after day. hour after hour.
- gladly spend and be spent for lost souls

From John McArthur's book "The Fulfilling Family"
- always bring the child back to the gospel
- always start with positive instruction and positive reinforcement
- lead by example
- as a last resort, discipline for willful, defiant rebellion
- the best parent is creative in their discipline and tries to link the consequence with the offending action
- esteem my children more highly than myself
- the amount of positive things that I say to my children should be an avalanche compared to the negative things I say

From Joel and Jennifer Koh
- set aims for what you want to see accomplished in your children in this stage of life. After prayer and discussion, Andrew and I decided our 2 aims for the boys would be: 1. first-time obedience, and 2. be children marked by kindness and respect.
- when you discipline, don't make it merely an inconvenience, but make it noticeable.

From Lynn Crotts, our Pastor's wife
- everything is built upon first-time obedience. She equates it with reading. If you can read, the world is at your fingertips. You can learn anything, do anything, accomplish anything, be anything you want to be, go anywhere you want to go, etc. That's the same with first-time obedience. If your children learn to obey instantly the first time you give them instruction, then that is the foundation upon which everything is built, including their character, morals, world view, life choices, obedience to authority in school and in life, etc. Without that first-time obedience, it's much harder to establish that good foundation. Of course there are exceptions to this rule. But this is what she has learned through her study of parenting.

From Amber Williams, our elder's wife:
She has 2 expectations for her children. 1. she expects them to sin and she expects to have to lovingly train them and instruct them in how to act. 2. She expects them to obey once she gives them the loving instruction. If they fail to meet expectation #2, that's where they run into problems.

My mom:
Jasper is indeed a boy. Oh boy, he is ALL boy! :o) he needs a place to be a boy, which I whole-heartedly agree with. Give him a place and a time to act like a kind dragon/hyena. But also instruct him on when and where he's NOT to act like a dragon/hyena. Make it fun for him instead of stifling for him. If he has an outlet for his imaginary play, it will be good for his heart. And it is. :o)

Andrew's parents:
There is a distinct difference between "childish irresponsibility" and "willful rebellion". Be careful not to confuse the two. For example, if we tell Jasper not to touch his toy during dinner and he truly, truly forgets and touches it and then is instantly sorry, that's childish irresponsibility. The sweet boy just forgot. It's not defiant rebellion. Don't discipline a child for childish irresponsibility, but do lovingly discipline for willful, defiant rebellion.

Anyway, it's late at night and I need to crawl in bed with my sick husband, but I wanted to be sure and record what I'm learning about parenting for my sake. I know a month down the road, I'll start to forget this all and I'll wish I had written it down, so... future Natalie, here it is.

I'm so thankful for these wise, wise people who are willing to listen to me and then advise me with sound, biblical advice. I would say the 2 main things I am grateful to be "refreshed" on are these: 1. Esteem Jasper and Brody higher than myself and 2. Start with positive instruction and positive reinforcement and let my positive words toward them be an avalanche.

the poor, poor worms

If anyone has been wondering what we've been up to this week, I'll sum it up in one word: worms.

We've been reading about them. We've been talking about them. We've been hunting for them, digging for them, and creating habitats for them. We've been praying for them, searching for food for them, transferring them from bowl-to-cup-and-back-to-bowl, singing songs to them, and protecting them.

The poor worms. We started with 3, but now we're up to 7 because Jasper keeps accidentally yanking them in half. We read in his earthworm book that if you hammer on the ground, the worms feel the vibrations and think it's raining so they come to the surface. So... naturally.... we've also been hammering on the ground... quite a bit. But... alas... when we went fishing today, Jasper didn't want to use his "wormy fwiends" as bait, but rather his Sweet Tarts. So, rest assured, his worms are still on our patio, " alive-ish and well-ish and probably frozen to death by now.