a dad's letter

There has been much publicity and criticism and talk about Miley Cyrus' performance at VMA on Sunday (it was truly disgusting and heartbreaking)... However, Miley wasn't alone on the stage. There was a man up there with her, Robin Thicke, acting just as perverted. The author of this following letter, Matt Walsh, pointed out that Miley, a 20 year old single gal, got loads of criticism while her co-star Thicke, a 36 year old husband and father of 2, didn't even get noticed let alone criticized. With a breaking heart, Walsh wrote this following letter wrote this to his 3 month-old son, teaching him what it means to really be a man.

As a mother of 1.5 sons, this letter resonated deep in my soul when I read it. as Jasper grows, he's going to start forming his own opinions about what it means to be a man, and I beg the Lord most fervently every day that Jasper will be a man after God's heart and truly pursue holiness all the days of his life. I beg the Lord to spare Jasper from the heartache of habitual sins and their consequences. I beg the Lord to make Jasper into a godly boy, teen, man, husband, and father, full of integrity and godly character and love for the Lord. I beg the Lord to let Jasper be the type of man who uses the Scriptures as his measuring tool for everything in life; that the Word of God will be Jasper's "go-to" instead of friends, media, worldly ideas, pop culture, etc. This letter just seems so perfect for boys in light of the Miley and her co-star's performance. I know that if Andrew had the time, he would write something very similar for our boys as well.

Dear son,

Don’t let Robin Thicke be a lesson to you.

Don’t let any of these pigs and perverts you see on TV be a lesson to you. They treat women like garbage; they possess no chivalry, no self control; they are disloyal and dishonest; they spend all day pursuing pleasure at the expense of others, and they encourage you to do the same. You might be tempted to follow suit. In fact, you WILL be tempted. These male pop stars and celebrities, look at them, you’ll think. They take advantage of emotionally broken, self loathing, confused young women, and they are rewarded handsomely for it. Look at their nice clothes and their nice cars. Look how they are admired and loved. Look, they treat women like trash and other women fawn all over them because of it. This must be how real men behave, you’ll think.

And you’ll be wrong. You’ll be wrong about a lot of things in life — this is what it means to be human — but never will you be more wrong than when you feel the temptation to buy the lies that pop culture sells about the nature of true masculinity. Son, there is nothing glamorous or fun about being a man of low character and no integrity. What you see on TV is a facade. It’s a sales pitch. It’s poison. You see the bright lights and the sexy women, but you don’t see what happens when the cameras are off and these pop culture gods return to their lives as mere mortals. You don’t see them in their big, empty, lonely houses. You don’t see the emptiness in the pit of their souls. You don’t see all the alcohol and drugs they have to use to dull the pain of living a life devoid of real, committed relationships. You don’t see the hatred they have for themselves and for humanity. You don’t see the jealousy they have towards normal, decent men.

Your dad is no celebrity. He’s just an average, boring guy. But he’s got something that every famous and non-famous womanizer envies: He’s got the love and commitment of ONE beautiful, smart, faithful woman. He’s got your mom, and he’ll only have your mom until the day he dies. He ought to be waking up every day shouting praises to the Lord because of that.

Listen, son, don’t let the world tell you how to be a man. They don’t know anything about the subject.

Men are loyal. Men are honest. Men respect and honor women. A man goes out and finds one woman, and he vows to protect and love her for the rest of his life. A man would never betray that vow. Even the weakest and most cowardly man — if he is a man at all — would die for the woman he loves. Your dad is no hero, but let someone try to hurt your mom and watch him suddenly turn into Superman (or Batman, whichever you prefer).

See, son, you don’t have to be big and strong to be a man, although I think you will be one day. You don’t have to be “cool” or athletic. You don’t have to play guitar or fix cars. These are all fine things, but they don’t define a man. A man is defined by how he loves the Lord, by how he treats women, by how he keeps his promises, and by how he protects and serves the ones he loves. That’s what makes a man a man. My dad taught me that, he taught it by example. I pray I can do the same for you.

Oh, and by the way, if I ever catch you disrespecting women, I will sit you down and talk to you about it. But first I’ll kick your butt up and down the street. That’s a promise.

Love,

Your old man