Jasper understands... sorta

Poor Jasper.

He understands some things, but not others.

For example, something he understands- Christmas.

In fact, he understands Christmas really, really well. In his limited understanding, Christmas is when he says "Happy birddday, Jesus!!" a lot, gets tons and tons of really awesome presents, and eats a boat load of sugar.

Something he doesn't understand- the concept of time.

So the poor guy has no idea when the next Christmas is. It's quite adorable, as every morning for the last 2 weeks when I get him up out of bed, he says, "Gowd mornin', momma!! Is it Mismas (aka Christmas) tuuday???!" and he says it was such hope and enthusiasm and expectation. Poor guy. :o)

I always respond, "No buddy. I'm so sorry. It's not Christmas today."

Jas- "Maybe Mismas is 'morrow?"

me- "no, honey. Christmas isn't tomorrow, either. Christmas is a looooong time away. We have a lot of things we need to do before the next Christmas, such as having Brody come out of my tummy, going swimming this summer, lots and lots of play dates, going to the library lots and lots of times. Lots of things need to happen before we have the next Christmas."

Jasper, however, is not daunted.

"Maybe itsa 'morrow."

me, "no, baby, it's not tomorrow."

Jasper perseveres, though. "Maybe yes, maybe no."

me, laughing, "definitely no, honey."

Seeing that he gets nowhere with this line of questions, Jasper always switches tactics.

J- "Maybe bor (for) da next Mismas momma cin buy Baber some purple snow."

me, laughing, "Maybe, buddy. I'll talk to Daddy about it."

at this point, I can see the wheels turning in his little head, trying to think of things that I can buy him for the next Christmas.

J- "Maybe bor da next Mismas, momma cin buy Baber a huuuuuuuuuuge beeeeeeeeeg esabator (aka excavator) wid da beeeeeg dinosaurs in it and Baber and da dinosaurs cin sit in da esabator an' dig an' dig an' dig an' dig awwwwll day wong and dig a huuuuge bwoo swimming pool."

me, laughing some more, "For the next Christmas, you want me to buy you a big, huge excavator with dinosaurs in it and you guys can dig all day long and dig a huge blue swimming pool?"

J- "Oh yes!"

me, chuckling, "Umm.. I'll talk to daddy about it."

J- "or maybe bor da next Mismas, momma cin buy Baber a weguwar cockwoach?"

me- "For next Christmas you want a regular cockroach?"

J- "Oh yes pwease!!"

me- "What kind of cockroach is not a regular one?"

J- "a cwazy cockwoach!!! Sillwy momma!!"

me, laughing- "So you want a regular cockroach, not a crazy cockroach, for next Christmas?"

J- "yes pwease!!"

me, laughing, "Maybe. I'll talk to Daddy about it."

J- "Or maybe da guy cin buy it bor me."

me, laughing, "Maybe the guy will buy it for you, but probably not."

J- "maybe yes, maybe no."

me, laughing, shaking my head. But, oh, he's not done yet.

J- "maybe bor da next Mismas, momma cin buy Baber a howse."

me- "You want a horse? Like a real, live, horse?"

J- "yes please!"

me- "no, buddy, I'm not buying you a horse."

J- "Momma, maybe yoo shoulda talk to Dadda 'bout it."

And that, my friends, is when I lost it and just started laughing and laughing.

This kid is smart.